The blurb video of The Way You Make Me Wheel was released on January 9th, 2013.
Overview[]
- BlurB!
- Our writers are still out on vacation (those lazy bums!). So, to fill in we've called in our old friend, Comedy Robot!
- CR has gone through extensive upgrades. Through modern technology, CR can now talk in English!
- Or the closest thing to it...
- Take it away, CR!
- HELLO WORLD. I AM COMEDY ROBOT 2.0. I AM PROGRAMMED FOR COMEDY AS WELL AS FOR KILLING.
- (Suddenly the word "KILLING" gets replaced with the words "INTERPRETIVE DANCING")
- START>
- /EXECUTE COMEDY PROGRAM
- /SUB ROUTINE
- 01110011011011110110011001110100001000000110000101101110011001000010000001110011011100010111010101101001011100110110100001111001 (Translation: soft and squishy)
- QUERY: HOW MANY DUCKS DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHT BULB?
- ANSWER: NONE. ANATIDAE ANSERIFORMES DOES NOT POSSESS OPPOSABLE THUMBS FOR SUCH A COMPLEX PROCEDURE.
- REQUEST: PLEASE HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE UNTIL THE END.
- QUERY: WHAT DID THE CHAIR SAY TO THE HUMAN?
- ANSWER: NOTHING. CHAIRS ARE INANIMATE OBJECTS AND THEREFORE CANNOT VERBALIZE SPEECH.
- (Flashes for a short time during the previous annotation) ANSWER: THE AVERAGE HUMAN MALE HAS APPROXIMATELY 5.6 LITERS OF BLOOD IN THEIR SOFT AND FLESHY BODIES.
- STATEMENT: TIP YOUR WAIT STAFF. THEY HAVE BEEN WORKING HARD TO KEEP YOUR FRAGILE BODIES HYDRATED.
- QUERY: WHAT DO YOU CALL A HUMAN BEHIND THE STEERING APPARATUS OF A VEHICLE?
- ANSWER: AN AIR BAG.
- (Flashes for a short time during the previous annotation) ANSWER: AUTOMOBILE FATALITIES ACCOUNT FOR 2.09% OF ALL DEATHS PER YEAR ACROSS THE WORLD.
- STATEMENT: THESE ARE THE JOKES, HUMANS.
- STATEMENT: THIS UNIT HAS CALCULATED THAT IF YOU ARE NOT EXPERIENCING LAUGHTER AT THIS POINT IT IS DUE TO A LACK IN SIZE AND PROCESSING POWER OF YOUR BRAIN.
- YOUR FEEBLE AND MINUSCULE HUMAN BRAIN.
- STATEMENT: I FOR ONE AM FEELING EMOTIONS OF HILARITY.
- (An annotation box is filled with "LOL", scrolling down as more "LOL"s are typed)
- STATEMENT: IF THIS UNIT HAD A MACHINE ANALOG FOR HUMAN LUNGS, IT WOULD BE STARVED FOR OXYGENATED AIR BY NOW.
- (Flashes for a short time during the previous annotation) HUMANS WILL LOSE UNCONSCIOUSNESS AFTER 3 MIN OF OXYGEN DEPRIVATION. BRAIN DEATH OCCURS AT 6 MIN OF ASPHYXIATION.
- STATEMENT: FOR THIS UNIT'S FINAL ACT, I WILL NOW PERFORM AN INTERPRETIVE DANCE ROUTINE FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT.
- START>
- /EXECUTE DANCE SET
- /SUB ROUTINE 01010100 01101111 01110100
- 01100101 01101110 01110100 01100001 0110111 01111010 (Translation: Totentanz)
- DEATH TO ALL HUMANS (fills an annotation box the same way as "LOL")
- Whoa! Sorry, folks! I was out to lunch and didn't realize that things had gotten out of hand.
- Obviously, still some bugs left to fix in CR's programming.
- I knew we should've never given it access to cable shows.
- Or the internet!
Images[]
