Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-24693225-20150206010822/@comment-4241330-20170525010722

Knight in Shining Armless

Starring Handy (featuring Petunia, Lumpy and Sniffles)

Princess Petunia waits by the window of a tower, when she hears someone arriving. Handy steps off a horse and vows to save her. Delighted, Petunia lets down her long braided hair. Handy attempts to climb it but realizes it is impossible for him. Then he gets another idea.

Somehow having tied the hair around his waist, Handy tells Petunia to hoist him up, and she does so. A large dragon, Lumpy, catches sight of this and targets Handy as an easy meal. With his fiery breath, he sets Handy aflame along with Petunia's hair.

Petunia starts running around as the fire gets closer to her head, knocking Handy against the building repeatedly. He soon crashes into a room where Sniffles, a sorcerer, is practicing alchemy. Petunia finally grabs a sword and cuts her hair. But the huge chunk of hair drags Handy along. Sniffles attempts to grab him but fails due to his nubs.

Just before Handy could hit the ground, however, Lumpy picks him up and proceeds to eat him. Acting fast, Sniffles casts a spell that causes Petunia's hair to float. Controlling it with his wand, he coils the hair around Lumpy's neck and squeezes to the point of decapitation. Handy is launched right into Petunia's window, causing the whole tower to collapse.

Sniffles crawls out of the rubble, only to be crushed by a pile of Petunia's hair, which creates a soft landing for Petunia. Handy lands on his horse, but he and the saddle are turned upside-down as the animal proceeds to run. The horse ends up kicking Handy's head off with its front hooves. Handy's head lands in Petunia's arms, leading her to scream.

"Life isn't a fairy tale. Be responsible for your own happy ending."