User blog:SaenihpNnylf/On The Flip Side Chapter 5

''July 14, 1956... give or take''

Still haven't found any of my comrads, Journal but I'm keeping my hopes up. Not only that but I've been coming to in some rather weird places. Just today was a pretty weird and very dangerous one.

I'm not sure what I was doing in the doorway of an enemy base. It was a fairly small one, there were six Tiger Soldiers in it and one of them was already badly injured. As terrble as it sounds, I took that soldier's injury as a good sign. Let me explain that, Journal. It does still sound bad. The reason I took the injury as a good sign is that someone must have caused it. That's right, Journal, my comrads must have been here recently! I wondered if they were still here in the base. After all, they might have been captured.

I guess that must be what I was doing in the doorway. I made my way in killing who I needed to. I would have spared the injured one. Honestly. I would have. I swear on that. I didn't though because, despite her injures, she ended up being surprisingly ready to attack and I had to kill her in self defense. It was my own fault though and you can't tell me otherwise, Journal. I should have known never to let my gaurd down and it could have gotten me killed.

I know, Journal, I need to be more careful with these things. I'm not a very good soldier and it's likely going to get me killed sooner rather than later. I know that in theory but it's so hard when the time actually comes. I don't know, Journal, maybe I just have to many morals to be a good soldier*. There's not really much I can do about that is there?

I tried to minimalize the casualties when I searched the area for my comrades only killing one of the other Tiger directly but finding none and being close to losing my one way out.

I don't want to admit it, Jounal. I am ashamed of what I had done. No. I suppose it's important that I talk about it. After all, you're the only one keeping me relatively sane.

Here goes nothing... or everything.

I threw a grenade I still had left in my jacket and made a run for it. I wasn't expecting the explosion to do as much damage as it did. The base is pretty much completely destroyed and the other three Tigers died.

So much for those morals.

I blacked out again after that but for an unusually short amount of time. Shorter then any previous time. I had this metalic taste in my mouth but what ever it was was kind of good.

Then I remembered my previous observation with injured Tiger and took off knowing that still means they can't be too far off. As I write this, I suspect I went the wrong direction entirely because I haven't found any more traces.

I wan't lying when I said I'm still hopeful. It's getting increasingly hard to stay hopeful but if I don't have any hope, I might as well just rollover and die right now and I'm not letting that happen anytime soon.

I'm going to survive. I'm going to find my allies. I'm going to make it home, wherever that is, to my family, if I have one. These thoughts and you, Journal, are the only things that keep me fighting through these lonely times. When there's nothing else to hold on to.

Though, I will still try to hold onto my morals as much as I can no matter what you say.

*This line was fun to write.